The enemy comes to steal kill, and divide. I have heard it several times yet somehow it can slip my mind and my thoughts, thoughts that can consume you get in the way of my calling, my love, my passion. Foster children, adoption love for these families who have been broken the kinda love that is only from God. You know when you go to a retreat, a conference and you are all fired up for what you believe in and you leave feeling once again like you can make a difference only to step a foot back into the real world and be once again bogged down by negative thoughts. It can come in many forms rejection, negativity, unanswered questions but when what it really gets down to is feeling powerless to make the change that you would like to see. Example, lets get as many suitcases for foster children because that will help a bit verses using a trash bag, so you decide to really work on getting others to participate and help out yet you don't get the results you thought in your heart would come so easily. And next you start talking to a perfect stranger about the cause and these thoughts come to you well we can get 10,000 suitcases but if the not so great foster parents don't send it with them, lets be honest I'm sure it has happened, then we will be back to square one. Or really a suitcase these children need love and unconditional understanding of all the emotions that are going through their head, OK the list goes on and on. So once again I hear God's voice, "Kristy pick up my word and follow me the rest will be handed to you". Really it's that easy, yes it is and why I have to be reminded time and time again is completely unknown to me. So today I opened my bible and the book of Deuteronomy was it it was the book I decided to start today. And guess what, perfect. Because as clear as daylight to me was the fact, (even though I didn't get to read much) that the journey of the Israelites was really only an eleven-day journey yet it had taken them forty years to get there. then straight out of my Joyce Meyers bible " The Lord our God said...You have dwelt long enough on this mountain" Deuteronomy 1:6, I truly believe in my heart and will stand firm on it that change is happening not only in Oklahoma but other states change for the children that are in the system change that is past due in happening. There are so many projects, programs working for the children it is amazing to see it is amazing how many people are giving up their time their lives to help the children. I'm going to stay firm in my belief in where my heart is and not stop doing what I can until there is not a problem anymore. It is time for the church to take over. It is time for the horrible foster homes to be closed down and for there not to be an issue of finding a great placement for a child that is lost and alone!
It is time for DHS to be held accountable, who does this anyways, I'm not talking about the biannual auditing or the supervisors making sure the paper work is correct and turned in I'm talking about DHS being accountable for placing children where they should not be placed. Allowing children that are in placements not to have adequate clothing and shoes, placing babies and children in questionable placements it's not OK for after and investigation to take place involving police and news for workers to then say, "well I had my concerns", sorry isn't that their job??? Sorry got on a bit of a soap box, and I don't blame all of the problems on DHS I realize that the shortage of good placements makes their job, is what it is and I know that their are many amazing workers out there making a difference I know several. Anyways it's my blog and I can type what I want, so there it is. We have a lot of work ahead but I will not stop doing what I can until I stop seeing children's hearts broken and a broken system. I want my children and my children's children to see that we really care.
I'm going to finish this post with this and each consecutive post will tell a short story about a placement we have had in our home. I will not share details like names for privacy reasons.
About three months into the process of becoming foster parents, we received a call. A worker was on the other line and said,' Even though you are not certified yet you can take short respite placements, this is like babysitting for another foster parent. I was like, OK great she said to me I have two little boys who's foster mom needs a break a one year old and a two year old. Great! So the foster mother arrived at out home it was about 6 o'clock at night and I was helping her unload the boys and the stuff out of her car. The very tone in her voice and the way she addressed the boys made my skin crawl."Stand over there! Don't move" ect. As we come in the house it was very evident that the boys went to daycare til 6:00pm she brought them home fed them and put them to bed. Sad to say I have seen this several times foster child in daycare from 6am to 6pm fed and put to bed and many weekends these foster parents will have respite. My husband quickly pointed out to the foster mom that the car seat she was using for one of the boys was broken and not functioning at all. Each one of them had a walmart bag with their clothes in it. Needless to say I could not wait for this woman to leave so we could begin spoiling these boys rotten! We were all four of us so excited playing loving and holding these guys. the next day I would spend half the day at the doctors learning that both boys had double ear infections and colds. My heart was broken. But remember I was just respite, my heart fell fast for these two in fact tears came sobbing down my face when I walked in the room at night to lay one down and he saw me and fell down in his crib and closed his eyes. Not two days latter I had a knock on my door. Hi I'm here to pick up one year old boy he is going to a new placement his other foster mom does not want him back. Not a phone call nothing showed up at my door. Completely in shock had no idea what to do I scrabbled around trying to get all his clothes and gather up anything that was his not even enough time to stop and think he was out the door. I cried and cried, not for my heart but for his. I thought I was ok until the next day I went downstairs to do the laundry and there I saw a pair of his PJ's, I'm not sure what happened but I picked them up and smelled them and began to bale all over again, as I thought to myself he doesn't even have all his things. This baby boy was one he had been removed from his parents lived with a kinship placement until they decided they could not handle him then onto the lady who brought him to our home, then from our home to another placement this was all in less then a months time.
