Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Praying for he Terry's Edmond PD Family

Randy's career as a Police Officer has made me fall in love with him over and over again, always amazing me by the great things he accomplishes and the people who he makes a difference in their lives through being in law enforcement. I consider it a privilege to be a part of the Edmond Police Officer Family. And a honor to be loved by this man!

This man, the man who I share my life with has all of my heart and I can't imagine a day without him. My prayer goes like this this evening ,"God please don't let me take a day for granted that I'm here with my soul mate, help me to remember how short our life is on this earth and remind me that this life is not my own but yours. ~Lord remind me how brief my time on this earth will be. Psalm 39:10
Unimaginable, unthinkable and unbelievable we lost an amazing Edmond Police Detective this evening. Matt Terry. Yes, he was a Edmond Police Officer/Detective but even more close to my heart we shared life together in our Life group together our families. Dinner, thoughts and prayers on various topics, in each others homes with our families children. I know in my heart Matt is in Heaven And in peace. My heart hurts and cries out for his beautiful family his wife Kathy and their daughter Heather. All I can do is sit here and cry and be in disbelief that at only 41 years of life, his life was taken from those he loved and those who love him so dearly.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

If I would have known, would I have done anything different?

   I want to start this post with.. My children's stories are their own personal stories to be shared by them when they are old enough and how they want to share. The very small parts of our daily life here and now are Our stories and hope to share these parts of our lives to further Gods Kingdom.

  We never get the details. Probably because we can't handle the details. " A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so must Love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. John 13:34-35 (straight out of todays talk notes from church)
     Let me just say this, my Friday started out like this, out of nowhere. Out of Lavender's mouth, "Aaron do you have the same tummy mom as me?" Aaron chuckled "NO!". Then we moved on not very significant, because if you know my L she seems to come up with questions a lot.
    Saturday begins with rushing around to go to to two birthday parties, first Aarons biological sisters 16 birthday, then a classmates at the park. The phone rings and it's Mama I, Lavenders Birth Mother. She is in the city and would love to get together to see us (Lavender). I'm like ok but I'm going to have to call you back you see I'm rushing around like crazy trying to get to two birthdays today.
So off we go to to the city to Sisters birthday party and as we walked into the birthday room, who is standing before me no other but Aarons birthmother. Mama A. I have not seen here in 5 years, and I have no idea what my facial expression looked like when I spotted her, I always wondered about this moment but never knew how and when and what it would look like. Here we were. It was now in front of me and I could have hustled my children out and gotten extremely bitter and upset that nobody thought to enlighten me or prepare me for this. But that in a instant didn't mean a thing. It was here it was now and happening and I know that I know that God uses all things to his Glory. That's why I say, " I saw Gods grace and mercy first hand this weekend". It wasn't about me and how I might feel it was about >>Again from talk notes today: Loving People with unconditional Love of Christ. One thing I can't stop doing is that. That people is why we are here what we are called to do, according to Gods plan, not ours.  I will go on to say, how very appropriate she was, and she had no intention of telling Aaron who she was. She stood back watched and smiled. My heart breaking for her to think of how and what types of emotions were going through her. You see it doesn't matter that her sin looks different then any of our sins it to God is the same. Finally came to a point at the party that I said to Aaron,' Do you know who she is?' He said "no?!" I said to him this is your birth mother this is mama A, his facial expression was unexplainable then followed by looking her in the face and saying the 3 words I'm sure she has longed to hear." I Love You", out of his mouth. He continued to look at her and even stare at times. I had no idea how this was going to end but again Gods Grace showed its face and went better then I would have ever expected. It was time to go to head to our next party and Aaron said good bye with a hug, and the since of relief the since of the unknown mystery was gone. I'm sure as he digest this questions will arise, but as for yesterday it was just enough. Just enough for a 7 year old to handle and it was all according to Gods plan.
Towards the end of the evening Saturday night texting was going back and forth between me and Mama I. She now needed to see Lavender tomorrow because she had to catch the greyhound back to Tulsa, to make it to school Monday morning. This put me in a tail spin because nothing was planned out, I'm a planner you see, and obviously that was taken from me early there was no planning in the above story no time to think just time to smile and Live how I believe, not how my earthly mind thinks from time to time. In my prayer time and my unconscious time, I'm thinking in my head,  really?? What's going on God? Ok so fast forwarding I agreed to meet Mama I in the hood, completely outside my comfort zone but I remained smart, at least I told myself that. It had to be a public place, I made my teenage daughter go along and had a back up plan that included a bottle of mase in my purse. Our visit went well and got to see my baby girl smile and love on mama I and talk about how much they looked alike. When leaving Lavender wanted to know why Mama I didn't have a car and why was she walking? Lavender said, "maybe sometime Mama I can ride in our car" I told her that would be amazing and maybe someday that can happen. For now for today Lavender knows that Mama I needed to get back to her school to get an education to get a good job and be able to buy a car. And that is enough for now. I'm sure, oh how I'm ever sure there will be lots more questions out of out 3 year olds mouth but for today, today was good.
So hello!! What was all this about heavenly father? Because as my good friend said to me ,I got to pick myself up off the floor now. Well it surely wasn't about me, but maybe a bit of teaching to me. you see the last week I have been struggling greatly about a word. A word called "Restoration".
I have been a little, ok a lot upset about how this word can be misconceived. I keep hearing HOPE, HOPE is anything that can give someone just that HOPE. It can be a hug, a gift, it can be positive words to build up and not tear down and when there's Hope anything is possible ANYTHING! Chains can be broken, cycles and addition can be set free Hope gives and enables restoration, I feel that Hope and Gods Grace sit before Restoration in the word chain and I found myself wrapped up in the thought process of this, daily for a week now! And guess what, its gone. because it doesn't matter, its just a word. And it's not what anyone thinks, it's what and how you believe and what God has called you uniquely to do with this life. It's not ours it is his and we are all called for a purpose and when you stop trying to know all, know what tomorrow looks like that's when the true blessings come down and that is when God is saying Well Done Child, Well done. 

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Look Who's Three!

 Crazy about this particular 3 year old, she's Loved for sure, as sassy as can be!
 Always Silly! Extremely intelligent...

    Very Sincere! Gorgeous in every way! She will choose a salad with ranch over a bowl of ice cream, Dora is still her favorite show to watch, She will haul off and hit big brother Aaron but will cry and hug him in remorse. Smart as a whip, very strong willed, independent Little Miss!

     Around 3 years ago we got the call, the call that would forever change our lives. Little did we know Gods plan then. The call was a DHS worker who had a 2 week old baby girl, she was in a emergency foster home and needed a foster home.    I WAS ELATED WITH EXCITEMENT, and accepted the placement and within only a few hours she arrived, at our home.
    Quickly and madly in Love we fell. It wasn't a smooth ride through our adoption journey with Little Miss, but  it was orchestrated exactly how our heavenly Father knew it would be and in the end Gods plan could not be thwarted. It's hard for me to see my baby turning into more of a little girl everyday, and I know all too well how fast this time goes by. So we cherish every moment.
    Lavender Grace, I will admit when she first arrived we said, "Lavender"? Is that really her name. But within weeks her name was her in every way.  It's a precious gift that her birth mother gave to her and their could never be a more beautiful name for her, and if when she sees anything that is remotely purple she says,'Hey that's my color!"
   Things that need to be accomplished in the real near future... We need to potty train, and find a way to loose the pacifier, but I'm not to worried as I know we will not show up for kindergarten in diapers and if we have to we can leave the passy at home :)

Monday, January 7, 2013

Today is January 7,2013

Life as I live it, day to day

I'm 7 months away from turning 40. My life.... to be most recently easiest and summed up to be described from my mouth as,"there are good days and bad days". Yes I know that's common with almost everyone I know or have met, yet if you would have asked me 7 years ago if I thought that would be my staple response to my life I would have questioned it.

This morning consisted of a pretty large meltdown on a scale 1-10 probably a 8 of one of my children. Why an 8? Well while there is a complete and utter mess to be cleaned up, from the aftermath, no one was physically hurt and it only lasted about 15 minutes.

I was successful in getting my children off to school, I was able to throw on my sweats you know, the ones us mom's throw on in attempt to go out in public in. As we are leaving the house my amazing husband, says" I love you", my response"I know..... You would have too" both of us giggled and headed on our ways. On the way to school explained to my 6 year old how God loves him, and God can heal him. Then

Said good by to my loving and sensitive son, as he said goodbye in a calm fashion telling his sister he loved her and to have a good day. Made it by my mothers to pick up paper work, and calmly asked her, " is my head spinning around?

Finishing this post today with this. I have been challenged to tell my story. You see I'm the mom who missed most of the sermon Sunday but caught the part that God intentionally had me hear. I'm the mom that many Sundays sits in the lobby with her son because he can't handle the classroom

for his age. Yes I'm the mom allowing her son to have the little red plastic ball to play with in the lobby at church in attempts to keep the rages down and actually get our family to church. Our world we live in is not set up nor tolerant of the day to day issues that face families that have obstacles to overcome, and quite frankly need a miracle. So please if you find it in your heart or hear it in a voice to give a kind word to a parent obviously having a rough day, it can make a difference. Until you have lived in someones shoes we have no right to judge, or condemn we are called to pray, uplift and support our sisters and brothers. I conclude with this. Don't feel sorry for me, you see I KNOW THAT God has called me to my life and he will and has continually equipped me with what I need to raise God loving, God fearing children. I know in my heart that God and only God has the power to heal and I thank him daily for that because without that the bad days would be never ending. We wouldn't have the hope, the promise of new life