February 6 2006 at @2:15 am Aaron Moses arrived into this world via emergency C-section. Umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. The hospital report describes him as blue and floppy, bagged respiration and began to breath on his own. Born after 9 long months of absolute no prenatal care, and a birthmother positive for opiates in her system. Aaron has been fighting from the second he was conceived.
At 4 days old he began eating well and maintaining his body temp, when we got the phone call. The phone call our family had been waiting for for 6 long months during the foster care certification process. A baby boy at the hospital needs to be picked up. "When and where?" Was my response . The lady making the call on the other end, said "um
No, you need to ask me questions" . "Ok , what am I suppose to ask?". Nothing really mattered there was a baby who needed a home and this is what we had been waiting for, for what seemed like forever. Once home with our newest addition, my sadness set in for a birthmother out there who carried this child for 9 months and now he is with me, to be cared for, to be his mommy,that tragedy is hard no mater what the
circumstances.
The adrenaline, the excitement continued for a few days until the every hour and half wake ups started taking there toll on me. Within a week the screaming began, started about 4:30 and usually lasted until about 6-7. Once again this precious newborn was fighting, fighting the overstimulated world he was born into . Had I known about sensory issues, and bright lights, and how sounds affected this baby and how tightly swaddling him could have helped, evenings might have been a tad easier for the both of us. Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. John 17:24 .
At 16 months old, he climbed out of his crib came down stairs, at 2 climbed a 6 ft fence jumped off back side, and at about 2.5 he began walking out of the house and disappearing. Again running and fighting from a scary world around him, that he had no idea what was going on. Like none of us do, Aaron didn't have a choice on what genetics he would be born with, or the trauma and stress he was induced to in utero, or the fact he was basically born into state custody.
8 years now have gone by, countless therapies, Doctors, ABC clinic, genetic specialist , developmental pediatrician ,Speech,physiologist,counselors, equine therapy, developmentally delayed programs, IEPs, behavioral modification program, TA, homeopathic remedies, impatient care, ENTs, surgeries,labs (blood work),neuro physh evaluations, companion therapy dog, allergist, countless amounts of therapeutic equipment, ER visits, all nighters,("What if it takes
1000 sleepless nights to know your near God")and more prayers then you can even imagine.
So should have I asked questions? It would have not mattered nor would have it changed our minds to pick up this newborn who needed a home. Nope God doesn't give you the details, if he would have we would have self proclaimed we were not capable of caring for this child, not financially, not emotionally and we would have most likely said we can't do all that. But along the journey along the path God has been our provider, each step of the journey. Not all up front but as it has been needed. All God asks us to do is say, yes to what he has called of us. And once we walk into Faith, he is good to carry every need through.
I'm not sure about a lot of things, and I will never pretend to be all knowing but I do believe in my heart, what Gods promises are to us.
So I will end with this. Happy Happy Birthday our big 8 year old boy, Aaron Moses Payne. You are the most athletic, handsome 8 year old, I know. So excited to see what God does in your life, I am so proud of the loving heart God gave you! "God what if your trials in this life are Mercies in disguise?"
In you, my God I trust
Psalm 25:2
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