God is Good! Well I feel complete now, with my children I mean, it could be that since the first time around while bringing up our biological children it was a boy and a girl, and I feel as though something was missing when they 're out and about and it's just Aaron and I. Don't get me wrong Aaron is a handful and I love him to death it's just I feel complete with a baby girl also... Even though she is not forever in our home, I don't know if it's because I'm now a seasoned Foster mom and I know all the heart ache that I might and most likely will go thru I do feel a complete peace.. I wonder if it's because I am just given that peace from God, if I'm protecting my heart knowing I'm loving on this sweet girl 24/7 and she will most likely be raised by someone other then me. I really can't control this situation and ohhhh that's so hard for a person like me a control freak. Some nights I wonder to myself why, why did I do this again open my heart up for so much pain, well... then God speaks very loud and clear to me saying Kristy this is your hearts desire and my plan for you here on earth you have love and nurturing to give these babies and it is your gift. Why does that gift have to be so hard to deal with? Well it's also the most rewarding part. I know that I know, that God has a divine plan for sweet Lavender and I'm only a very small part of it. I feel the closest to our Heavenly Father when it's only Faith the unseen that can get me through some very hard days. Is his plan for me and Randy to raise her to be her parents forever we do not know, it is not the plan at this point but we all know that can change. All I know is God sent this amazing baby girl who has the sweetest spirit. Almost as if she's an angel and hear to tell me listen to God lean on God and he will take care of you the way you take care of his children.
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