Five years ago

Five years ago, Randy and I were watching the 10:00 news together and a story came on about how a newborn baby girl was found on the side of the road, and a lady had brought her in stating she had found this baby. I sat up and looked at Randy and said I'm gonna get that baby girl. He laughed and said OK, Kristy... I said no really I'm going to call DHS in the morning and see what I can do to get that baby. Well the lady who turned the baby in was the mother of the baby not a stranger. But I did exactly what i said I was going to do. I got up and called DHS, after getting transferred around a bit I was talking to the lady in charge of foster parent recruitment. Everything sounded great I could foster baby's no problem after a home study, classes, and fingerprinting we would be good to go, one problem Randy had to do the classes with me. I thought to myself this is most likely a deal breaker but I prayed and when randy came home for lunch that afternoon I said well.... I talked to DHS and I told him everything and I said you would have to do the classes too. He said...... OK. I was like what...... noway he said yes he would. I guess you could say it was Gods plan for our family all along we just had no idea ahead of time and then when we decided to do this as a family we thought we were going to help baby's never knew ahead of time what God had planned all along but isn't that how it always is. So I spent the next 5 months garage sale-ing refinishing baby furniture, getting things we would need ect. taking the classes on the weekends almost lost my hubby's support along the way with those crazy classes but he stuck it out. Finally we got the call. Can you take a newborn baby boy, ummmmm YES!!!!!! The lady on the other end of the phone was like you need to ask me questions and I was like where, when can I get him? Randy had planned to do security that night at a basketball game he canceled that and we all loaded up in the truck and headed to pick up our baby from the hospital. I should have known at that time we all being that we were all in it our family of four that this would be much much more then taking care of a baby boy. As I tell that baby boy now at almost 5 years old, when the nurse placed you in my arms, you were so tiny I was in schock and she said to me now you remember how to do this right? Shaking I said I think so. It was love at first sight! Never in my life did I imagine or even think of all the obstacles, scenarios, the feelings and emotions did not even think before this process oh yeah your gonna fall in Love and live on a roller coaster the next two years of your life. Never did I imagine beforehand I was going to take a precious newborn baby home and at night while rocking him to sleep start thinking about the sadness that another mother is feeling or the loss she must be feeling after carrying this baby for 9 months. Now yes, because of the choices that same mother had choose to make and things she had done was the reason but still as a mom you still can't help to think about everything or at least I couldn't.
It all turned out and we adopted our bundle of joy but still was a very sad day when that same mother lost her rights on her own flesh and blood.
Fast forward to almost a year ago. We had not taken anymore permanent foster baby's since the loss of our foster baby girl, we had done respite but as far as a long term placement we had not. For many reasons, but when our worker came to me and said she did not want to bother doing the yearly reassessment if we were finished fostering. At that time I prayed and prayed and once again talked to Randy. I told him I was not ready to let this go. He said I didn't have too. He just didn't want to have long term placements. Ok.... so a baby who might have a family member ready to take but needs more time or something like that he said yes. I called DHS and gave our criteria for placements to our worker. 24 hours latter I received the call for our sweet baby girl. Now she has a long story but the main part of it is that God put her in our home for a reason and had planned all along for her to be a forever Payne, again we did not know this at first but when she turned 6 months it was known that we would fight for our baby girl. We did just that and won in the court of law and now await for the adoption process to begin and end. You have to have a lot of patience with DHS, nothing happens fast.
Now I know that I know that we are finished, I think.... I don't want to play God because only he knows, but I feel complete as a mom I have a new desire a desire to help other families go through this process and help children in need a of a good home. I'm open as to what and where God wants to me use me in this ministry. I well we have been through a lot a lot of obstacles and challenges with the system. I will never tell anyone that it is an easy thing to do it's not. It is a roller coaster of emotions and trials and grief sometimes good and sometimes bad. But if you open your heart and allow God to do his work through you, you will be blessed far greater then you ever imagined. Along our journey I have met so many people who's hearts are for the children and can share in experiences and have general support. Anna's House Foundation is one of them and they're actually set up to do everything license foster families and offer amazing support. I have met many dear friends who also have the same goal in their heart taking care of the babies the children who need. And I'll close this post with this not only do we need many more good foster/adopt homes in Oklahoma we need people who want to make a change in the messed up OKDHS system to stand up and lets see changes happen for the better for the children!