Aaron loves to watch this one!

More Crashing

Were Back!

I'll post a couple not so good videos of mommy and Aaron sledding.

Aaron loved sledding.

My oldest mastered snow boarding so proud of him! He is almost as tall as me I'm 5"11".

End of the day and too tired to stand!

Aaron would stand at the glass sliding door and do the OU sign with his arms to our neighbors at the condo and when they would hold up thier OSU blanket A.T. taught Aaron to turn his bottom to them OH my goodness it was hillarious when we came out they tried to give Aaron a OSU blanket. Oh yeah he is a little mad he couldn't get the ski boots on!

Molly your not alone I also missed the blog world! We were in Angel Fire New Mexico and I couldn't get web access a good thing I guess but I missed getting online! We have had an amazing Holiday season especially Christmas! Here are some of our pics.

Dedicating Ash

Great Weekend

Isn't she adorable! Our sweet princess.

Say cheese!

Celebrating Christmas at Randy's Dads

Ashlein's Here for her Dedication and our Christmas together!

This is the day I had to say goodbye. I cried alot as this is the hardest thing I have ever been through, I would be fine one minute and start balling the next I felt as though I was losing a child.

This was the night before she left we decided to celebrate our Christmas with her and give her, her gifts, although my husband remained strong his way of showing emotion was holding her a lot and making sure that he told me to tell her Gma how she needed to be burped about every 2 ounces! Two babies wasn't always easy but I wouldn't of had it any other way.

We all fell in love with this angel!

She still loves lots of hugs and kisses!

Ok so I will probally be posting a lot the next few days once I get the toddlers to bed because I have found it to be completly therapeutic to type all of my emotions as if I'm journaling, plus I enjoying reading everyone's blog so much so I hope I can share a bit of our lives and how God has blessed our family. Oh yeah also I got a new camera like I said in the last post so I'm taking well the whole family is taking like 100 photos a day but these are pictures I scanned in tonight to share our story of our sweet girl Ashlein. We were asked to be her God parents by her Grandmother a month ago and asked if we would dedicate her at our church. This is 2 years excatly from when her grandma now mama took her from our home to live with her. So what an amazing Christmas Season it is, and how God has worked in all of our lives for his Glory! I will share pictures of the Dedication after Sunday.

Christmas Party with Siblings

Brothers!!

Aaron,Miasha,Titus

This is the second anual Christmas Party at our house with Aarons Siblings. New camera early Christms present I'm sooo excited.

Santa visited Mothers Day Out today

He would not sit on Santas lap! But did better then I thought..

Aarons Debut Christmas Program

More of program

Aarons Christmas Program

Proud Mama moment!

Ok I have always made the Christmas rings with the older kids since they were toddlers as a tradition were you make the amount of rings tell the day of Christmas, link them together and pull one off each day till Christmas. Well the two older kids decided to take it upon themselves to continue the tradition and teach Aaron how to do this, this was without any prompt on my part my 14 year old goes, " hey we need to make our Christmas rings and teach Aaron". This is what happens when a 14 and 12 year old are in control, check out the markers all over!!

Aaron trying to help daddy put up lights

Couldn't keep him off the ladder!

Mommy's gardening gloves he loves them!

I'm sneaking up quietly.

More pics Freshman Formal Mom&Son

Silly dad get out of the picture...

Sweet ride, we never rode in one of these before.

Parents having a hard time letting go of thier kiddos!

More pics of Freshman Formal

Oh they are soo cute!!!

Freshman Winter Formal

A.T. and Isabelle they have best friends since the 1st grade at Clegern Elementry! Oh my goodness tonight I'm balling I feel like my little boy is all grown up!!

Emotions

I'm so emotional today and haven't felt this much overwhelming since of emotion since I was pregant oh no jk that shouldn't be possible! I have wanted to cry all day, every song that comes on KLOVE is my song today kinda day. Getting to dedicate Ashlein, opening a booth in the Antique mall, Aaron just walking into his class today at Mothers Day Out without even looking back 1st time he usually cries and clings onto me, the holiday season 1st without my stepdad as he has gone on to his eternal home, both my older kids will not be home tell after 6:00 because of school sports gosh I could just go on and on can't I. Anyways I'm already feeling better just writting or typing rather it out. I'm so excited for Tracy's family on the match I haven't stop thinking about that all day and the meth keeps coming to mind how Aaron just screamed and screamed and God gave us the strength to carry on night after night now we didn't have an insight on exactly what was used with the exception on the opiate birthmom was positive for at birth. Ok I'm crying now but in a good way I have never felt happier and enjoying my family so much knowing each day is a precious gift from God!

Dedicating Ash

Wow
after the weekend spent with sweet little Ash, Grandma well one grandma she lives with two that adopted her asked us if anything was to happen to Grandma 1 would we consider raising Ash OMG yes of course also she asked us if we would be her God parents, she wasn't sure if that was something you just wrote down or did, I explained to her the process of dedication at our church and we would love to dedicate her as we didn't get to when she lived with us because of timing. They want this done and so Dec 21 if all goes according we will be dedicating this sweet girl and hopefully grandmas will come to witness they do not go to church but believe in God. Please pray as I know God is doing his work as always through us and I give him all the Glory, we will be having our baby Ash dedicated exactly 2 years after we handed her over to Grandma.

Great Pic

Aaron is already missing his Ash, I pray for them to grow up close they have a special bond it's easy to see, they were like faternal twins for 6 months of their lives.

Amazing weekend!

Well I picked up Baby A Friday and shes not such a baby anymore so I guess I should call her Princess A. I Love this child so much and had a wonderfull weekend just playing hugging and kissing her, this is her fourth stay/visit since she left our home at 6 months old. She is soo smart and full of life.

Florida

We are enjoying ourselves in Florida. It is so beautiful here and so quiet without the kiddos although I'm really starting to miss them. Just got a call from DHS our worker wanted us to take a 7 month old boy process of being adopted "what stage" this can take forever we all know that... Anyways had to tell them no we are in Florida, I'm not sure what to do I really need to start praying specifically what Gods plans are for me I know Randy is ready to be done with fostering for good and I'm not ready to close that door. Although he had said yes lets keep our liscense up to date so I'm a little confused I guess. Obviously Aaron is a handful, but I still think about all those babies that need someone. Anyways I better go pick up husband from conference I'm so hooked on blogging!

Fire tonight!

I was talking on the phone when Aaron came and grabbed my hand and said common mama and pulled me to my bedroom, the room was filled with smoke, Aaron had thrown daddy's tshirt on the chandelier and it was smoking when I pulled it off the light the fire started I ran to the bathroom and threw it in the sink and turned the water on SCARY probally a couple more minutes and my room would have been on fire! It was kinda hard to get mad after all he came and got me, never a dull moment around this house. Aaron learned a new word tonight FIRE, when brothers phone lit up, red (the little track), ball Aaron said EW FIRE.

Our Baby Bird

This is how Aaron takes our gum from us daily! What a great Daddy! Borrowed a camera from friend to see how we liked it, I didn't realize how bad ours was until I saw how much clearer everyone pictures are on their blog! Please everyone pray for this little guy to sleep. We took him off med to help sleep the one he got too much of, because it made it worse and now we are doing what we should have from the beginning praying very hard for God to release this poor child from these awfull night terrors and break these awfull strongholds from this inocent little guy, Momtomany after reading your last post I was really inspired by how prayer has helped your "J", I began praying in the spirit over Aaron and that first night 3 nights ago for the first time in 8 months slept all night. (Please keep sharing) I didn't, I wanted to keep checking on him"worried", the next night he only woke once, but last night we went to our small group and asked for prayer for him he had a terrible night terror last night at 3:30 once I got him awake it was 5:00 before we we back asleep. I'm not going to let satan detour me, prayer works and I demanded for this evil spirit to get be behind us! I know his biological brother at 8 years old is still suffering terribly from this same thing I was talking to his adoptive mom and in 45 min time T had awoke 3 times. I have helped out at the shelter for bday parties and met one of my sons1/2 brothers who was picked up on the streets in the middle of the night from escaping his home while everyone was asleep and this wasn't the first time.. My sons biofather has some of 23 kids in OKC. This is so sad.

Baby A

I want to tell you all about baby A. My husband and I knew a teenager that lived down the street from us and somehow between friends of friends we connected with this family 3 kids and a single mom. We well my husband tried to help mentor this troubled teen boy but not much seemed to work. We love his sister and older brother good kids hard working and soo smart. Well the troubled one came to us at 15 to tell us his girlfriend was pregant. My husband talked to him for along time and told him we would adopt as we were just starting the process of becoming foster parents. After a couple of months of really encouraging them not to abort they decided to keep the baby, and my husband and I decided to support them in anyway we could. I picked up the couple from the hospital after delivery of sweet baby A took them to the teenage girls dad home picked up her perscriptions, formula, groceries ect. as Grandfather was not around (truck driver). I tried to help them took them to the mall when baby A was a week old to get them out of the house ect., couple days later dropped off pictures I had took and told Boy he really needed to call his mom, at that point he got furious with me for opening my mouth and wanted me just to leave, I was fusterated and decided I would wait for them to reach out for help to me and stop going over in looking back that was the stupidist thing for me to do I should have picked up the phone and called DHS but I didn't, I wasn't aware of any danger to the baby infact it seemed as she was doing very well. 4 weeks went by I was really busy taking care of our newborn foster baby so the time went by really fast, I got a call from a friend asking if I knew anything about what had happened to baby A she was being ambulanced to Tulsa with something wrong with her brain, I instantly knew what had happened and it wasn't something wrong with her brain, she was a brillant newborn I knew something very terrible had happened and I live in a Horrific Nightmare for the next week. Father called me asking me to have Randy help them they teenage boy and father of teenage girl were speeding through OKC then through Edmond they had left to Texas to get Birth Certificate of teenage boy, I confronted him what di you do he said nothing they think she was born with this and is having seizures I began yelling at him and he yelled back and hung up. This is the last time we have ever talked to him. Through tears and scremaing I prayed over and over hour by hour for this baby she waas 6 weeks old now. The investigators told my husband the first night she wasn't going to make it then the second or third cannot remeber exact they said she is going to make it but would be a vegetable the rest of her life. I prayed and prayed God please.. if she will be a vegetable sorry for the term but I cannot think of another one) Please take her home. Or allow her to live a rich wonderful life. Just remebering back to this awfull time makes me cry I cannot think of a time where I begged God to help more. Dad was found guilty of shaken baby and served not enough time for what he did and has not changed from what he here he is still hitting teenage mom around... The reports are awfull of what he amited to doing. DHS terminated on shocking and haneses probally spelled wrong,. Well baby A came out of her comma in flying colors and got released to us a week after being admitted into the Tulsa hospital I was in the workers face as to SHE was coming home with me and of course since I was on the phone with him hourly and made his job easier by an instant placement, he let us pick her up. My husband and I loaded up went to Target first got a double stroller and headed to Tulsa to sit through a class on siezures and the meds that came home with her. When I brought her home from Baptist with bios she weighed 8 14 when we brought her home fromTulsa she weiged less then 7 pounds six weeks later. Not taking her home to us was not an option. I had two babies just like twins just our guy was pretty chocolate color and plump and baby A was as pale snow and skinny very fragile, she wouldn't cry she would just moan at first I'm crying thinking about it. I went to court for the first hearing and knew I wanted to ask the judge to leave her b with us but also prayed for God to give me wisdom and to have the judge show favor on my words I was soo nervous and shakin up especially when dad walked in the court room. We all went up to the bench evryone was taliking it got quiet for a minute I asked the judge if I may speak she said no held out her hand and me in the stop motion I closed my mouth faster then I opened it, and thought oh my gosh what did I just do, she said a few more things and then looked over at me and said now you can talk do you hves something to say. I said yes I would just ask the court to please leave her placed with me and not allow a move until she was completly cleared of all medical issues since I had been able to get her a good team of doctors here. DA spoke up and said this baby is not to be moved at this time! I was so relieved and so happy and thanked God for being with me in that court room, I know he is always with me but I really felt his presence at this time. I knew Grandma and partner were having ahome study and taking classes but I refused to think about her leaving me as the months went by it started to get more and more clear she was going to live with Gma in Enid, I got the call a week before Christmas DHS said we know we have to give you a 5 day notice but gma would like to have her for Christmas. I don't know if I have ever cried harder in fact I know I haven't Iknew this was Gods plan for baby A but I didn't want to accept it. I remeber like it was yesterdays going down to the basement and just screaming and crying no God she is my baby girl I love her so much please don't take her away from me. 3 days later Gma came to my house I invited her to come get her as she had a lot of stuff and I wanted to visit with her she was very sweet and kept saying I know how hard this is for you. For the next9-12 months I felt like I had lost a part of my heart I would cry at any given time, I would be driving down the road and feel misurable, I would call periodically but I felt as if I was bothering them. Somehow after being consistant with gifts and cards and letters I got an email address and partner and I started communicating through email, I finally got the nerve to ask if I could come visit and they said of course. Things have gone really well and we have had sweet princess 3 times for long weekends or one this summer while gma went out of town. Baby A is amazing brilliant and beating the odds in everyway we are so amazed by her intelligance at 2. I'm so excited we get to spoil her for the weekend before Thanksgiving whenever I ask to have her for the weekend they always say yes, they say they know how much she is loved here and how much fun she will have. So long story sorry but I actually left out a lot.. So the little girl shopping begins, I LOVE TO BUY PINK AND BOWS, and love dressing her up. God worked out everything just as he had planned all along but it was so hard to see that when I was in the middle of it, my love for this child is the same as my love for all three of my children that live with me. I think once your a mom it's a forever thing. I really want to write about Aaron and last night but I got to get 2 kiddos up to bed so I will tell you about amazing thing that happened last night at the Paynes household. Sorry for all the typos and bad spelling I was trying to type really fast.

Ok the reality of how scary the internet can actually be just set in when I pulled up my blog. Had to block someone from viewing and commenting, just had a really bad feeling about this person. I think I will stick to my feelings and thoughts and keep my older kids off of here. I enjoy blogging and especially reading all of your posts!!! As parents we always have to be watching it is so sad the scary world we live in this day and age. I am so happy the Lord is my Savior and my Eternal Life is with him. My prayer is for God to protect my family and friends, and to bless those who have blessed my life like you all!!!

Trick or Treating

Well huge improvement from last year Aaron actually walked around and got excited a few times especially when we ran into our friends from Life Group. He was a OU football player until we ran into this adorable Dragon suit at the thrift store for $4.00 couldn't resist! I love the fact that someone might look at us and decide to foster or help out children in need, many people know our story, but the ugly selfish side of me that I have never said before is sometimes I wish it wasn't, oh that is the child you adopted or, this is Aaron with a tone you know the one. For obvious reasons everyone will always know we adopted or some have that look like oh what did you do? And I wonder what it would feel like for one day to not be under that kind of I don't know the word..... I always try not to worry about what other people think thats thier problem not mine but somedays I just want it to go away. We will always and are now very open to Aaron about adopton and will let him know as much as he needs when he needs it. Today is my daughters first competition for pom at the Cox convention center she is so excited I better go and get ready.